


The weight on your shoulders

by 14Lupin42



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Incest, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-22
Updated: 2014-06-28
Packaged: 2017-11-26 11:50:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/650230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/14Lupin42/pseuds/14Lupin42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not a single soul had seen Daryl Dixon cry since he was six years old and beside her mothers closed coffin. But there stood Shane, staring straight at his tear striped face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is also found at my ff account, but I wanted to post it here too. This is my first walking dead fic, so I hope you enjoy.

Shots echoed in the woods and a mad, nasty laugh followed it.

”Merle, what the fuck!” Daryl hissed and scanned the area for anything moving. The fucking world ends and this is the person he is stuck with; his lunatic brainless big brother.

”Stop being such a pussy Daryleen. I shot ourselves a lunch!” Merle gave another nasty laugh and a victory shout as he stepped closer to the deer he had just shot. Daryl, still eyening the surroundings stepped towards the deer as well. His brother was right, now they had plenty of meat to eat.

”Let's get back to the truck and cook us a meal!” Merle left the carrying of the deer for Daryl and made his way towards their tent. Daryl just huffed and began to lift their meal up when he heard a branch snap close by. He froze and listened closely for more sounds. He dropped the deer down and lifted his crossbowup trying to see who, or better said what was walking so close by. As he heard more rustling sounds he slowly walked towards it. Blood pumped in his ears as he took steady steps forward, and there they were, two damn walkers right in front of him. Just as he moved his finger to shoot a panicked yelp came from the other

“Humans!” And Daryl slightly lowered his bow, taking a better look at the men. Smaller man, or a boy, let out the air he had been holding and the other taller guy just looked annoyed. That didn't make Daryl very happy. He lifted his bow back up and the Chinaman held his breath again.

“What's your business in here?” Daryl growled. The bigger man just looked more irritated and Daryl wondered what his chances were if this would erupt into a fight. The bigger one took a half step forward but the Chinaman took a hold of his forearm as a plea not to continue and the tree of them stood silent for a while until the bigger man gives in.

“We heard gun shots, wanted to check if somebody had problems with walkers. Wanted to checkout what the hell was going on.” An acceptable reason, Daryl decided and finally lowered his bow.

“So where did yo-”

“Daryl, what the hell is taking so long- the deer ain't that heavy!”

He slightly winced as he heard the sound of his brother making way towards them. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes only to open them lazily to see Merle by his side looking amused. _Shit, this isn't going to end well_ he thought.

“So the deer ain't the only animal you found my dear baby brother.”

 -

Shane is kinda surprised of the reaction this redneck gave as he heard the sound of his friend yelling for him. The alfa male vibes he had gotten from this man, Daryl if he heard right, completely vanished when the other guy stepped next to him. Shane wasn't sure why, but he felt more irritated. Two rednecks to deal with wasn't making his day any better. But then he mentioned a deer. Ignoring the insult he had to ask

“You got a deer?” The one called Daryl looked at him like he was a moron.

“Yeah” “No” The hicks say at the same time and the bigger guy shot a mean look at the other.

“How much?” He asked and the idiots looked troubled.

“We have a camp nearby. Other survivors. We have been living on a can food for a while. So how much for the deer?” Shane explained shortly.

“Fuck no, we ain't trading it. I've been tracking that animal whole night!” Daryl said, clearly irritated.

“Shut up” The bigger redneck growls. Shane noticed how Daryl changed his weight to his left, away from the other man and how he lowered his piercing gaze to the ground.

“What do you got?” The redneck demanded and Shane glanced Glenn and licked his lips.

“How about a carton of cigarettes?” The bigger guy squinted his eyes and grinned in a way that made Shane slightly sick.

“It's a done deal mister.”

 

 -

It was kind nice, this noise of people just talking. Daryl usually didn't feel comfortable around may people, but after being alone with Merle all these months... Daryl caught himself smiling. He was _smiling_ for fucks sake. He was even talking with this Chinaman, and what were they talking about? Pizzas. Fucking _pizzas_.

“-whatever. We used to live in the country, it was a damn feast every time we got pizza for dinner.”

“Probably because you didn't have to butcher their meal first” Daryl heard somebody crack a joke, he noticed it was that bitchy blond chick.

“Well I don't see you complaining about that deer ya stuffing into your mouth, Missy.” Daryl retorted. The blondie was opening her mouth to answer back but Shane cut her off.

“Save it Andrea. You should be more polite to the man who got food in your stomach.” And with that she shut up. Daryl gave her, as he liked to call it, the Dixon stare and was pleased to see her whisper nervously to her sister.

“Well I practically lived on it.” Glenn continued, and Daryl was confused for a second. “On pizza I mean. I can't cook anything.” He took another bite of his meat and sighed. “I do miss pizza.” Daryl laughed with the others. He couldn't remember the last time he was this relaxed. Merle usually kept him on the edge, he was so moody. Thinking of Merle, Daryl perked up his head, _where the hell was he?_ Spotting him slightly away from the fire where everybody were sitting at, Merle was talking with a woman, that skinny skank, Lori. Daryl would have usually let Merle do whatever pleased him, even though he didn't think he could stop his brother from doing anything, but this was different. They might stay with these people and he didn't want Merle fucking that up by doing something stupid. Like he always did. Daryl got up and walked towards them when he saw Merle getting closer to Lori and she didn't appreciate that. Daryl could hear her talking now.

“Back off Merle.” Daryl walked slightly between them, shielding the girl from Merle.

“What's going on?” He asked.

“Nothing baby bro, just talking here.”

“And that's all, so back off.” Lori barked behind him. Daryl saw how Merle’s eyes narrowed, ready to pour more gas to the fire.

“Come on bro. Let's go eat some more, alright?” he said hopefully. The tree of them stood still for a while. Then Merle wiped his nose and took a step back.

“Nah, I'll be heading back to the tent. See ya at morning baby bro.” And then he stalked away. Daryl turned towards Lori. They stood in an awkward silence for a minute.

“Sorry” he muttered and walked after his brother.

- 

“What an asshole.” Lori scoffed and snuggled closer to Shane.

“That I don't deny.” Lori had just told him about this little scene. After watching the Dixon brothers tonight, he decided that there was something odd how they acted towards each other. He couldn't really point his finger at what. And now he really didn't care, for all he knew they were like the white trash that they looked like, mad dogs. He was angry at Merle, but there was a need for the brothers. “But they are good hunters. And we are low on can food.” His comment didn't make Lori very happy as she was still angry.

“Then have Glenn go get some from the city.” Lori retorted and Shane couldn't help but to think that Lori could be so childish sometimes.

“You know that we can't keep on doing that forever.” Shane answered “We need them.”

 

- 

 

It was peaceful. For a day. Merle was after all, well, Merle and he didn't play well with others. And he couldn't keep his racist mouth closed, and there were a lot of colorful people in this group. Merle also tried to hit on all the women on the camp, even with those who were taken. Ed didn't take it very well when Merle said something to Carol and it had burst into a fight that took all the guys in the camp to stop. Daryl didn't know who would blow up first, Merle or everybody else. So he found Shane and suggested to take Merle away from here, to hunt with him.

“I think we'll be couple days away, to clear the air, you know, before you people tear Merle a new one” Shane gave a small laugh but gave an approving nod. “Or he'll tear you” Daryl added under his breath. Shane seemed surprised by his offer, but was more than happy to agree. Shane seemed like a good guy in Daryl's eyes. At least he protected all the people who looked up to him. Daryl appreciated that kind of people. And then there was his brother.

“Mer, we good to go.”

“Remind me again why we need an ok from Shane to leave this dump.”

“You agreed on being a part of this group” Daryl said as Merle spat on the ground and went to his motorbike. Daryl tensed in alarm. “You ain't gonna -” Merle shut him up with one sharp look that was way too familiar.

“Just making the end of the world more bearable, Daryleen.” Daryl looked away. _Only a few days Daryl, then back to the camp, to the 'civilization'._ He psyched himself and huffed. He had lived with Merle few weeks totally alone when this zombie thing had started, dammit, he could bear being with him a few days. Merle walked towards him and Daryl lifted his eyes. Merle wiped his nose once and gave a loud bujah.

- 

“Hey Shane have you seen Daryl around?” Dale asked with his usual cheerfulness. Shane shook his head.

“Sorry, you just missed him. He went hunting with his brother. Said they might be out a few days.” Dale took off his hat and scratched the back of his head.

“Pity. He said he might have some tools that I needed for the camper.” Dale huffed. “We kinda made a deal about it already.” Shane shrugged.

“I dunno what to tell you. How fast do you need the tools?” Shane asks and Dale weighed his hands.

“Well I would like to start fixing the car as soon as I can, better have it working if anything were to happen. But I don't think I should go around and grope other peoples stuff, especially if it belongs to the Dixon brothers!” Shane could agree on that.

“But Daryl did mention that the tools were on the back of that car they have.” He added. Shane pondered for a while. Going trough Dixon's personal stuff? Sounded good to the nosy cop inside of him. Dixon's car and their tent were on the corner of their camp, slightly separated from everybody else. The first day Shane thought it was somewhat suspicious to build their tent so far from the others, but now he counted it as a blessing. He did not want Merle anywhere near sleeping people. There was a tarp over the back of the car, Shane pulled it off. He froze.

“Are those what I think they are?” Dale asked and pointed the wrapped packages in the trunk. Shane took one into his hands and watched them.

“What the fuck do they intend on doing with this much cocaine?”

 

- 

“So, Daryleen. How you liking the camp?” Merle taunted and Daryl hoped he would shut the fuck up. He was watching the ground, trying to see any tracks from a deer or anything else eatable.

“Well? Something caught you tongue there, Daryleen?” Merle teased.

“No. I like it there.” Daryl gave a short answer and caught a glimpse of a squirrel. _You are mine._ He shot an arrow after a few seconds. There was a soft thump when the squirrel landed. Daryl gave a small smile of triumph.

“I bet you like all the pretty gals there.” Merle gave a nasty laugh. Daryl kept quiet and pulled his arrow from the dead squirrel. “I sure like them.” Merle continued talking to himself and they continued walking further away from the camp.

“Too bad they are all such stuck up bitches. Think they can have something better than me.” Merle gave his giggly laugh that he did when he was high. “I think they haven't noticed that the world ended!” Merle shouted every word louder, towards the camp Daryl realized.

“I haven't had had a decent fuck in ages.” Merle continued his ramblings and Daryl tensed. He wondered where this was going.

“Fucking skanks.” Merle yelled again towards the camp.

“Don't shout, okay.” Daryl hissed. He shouldn't have. Merle now had his attention on him.

“Don't be like that, baby bro.” He gave a nasty smile and put his hand on Daryl's shoulder. He visibly flinched at his touch but Merle didn't move his hand.

“Don't touch me.” Daryl growled, tried to intimidate his brother but the other just found this funny.

“Or what?” He asked and rubbed circles with his thumb. Daryl's stomach felt heavy and he shrugged his brothers hand away and continued walking, hoping his brother would stop fooling around. And with two long steps Merle was behind Daryl and a pain lashed trough his scalp as Merle took a hold of his hair.

“What the hell!” Daryl growled, trying to pull Merle's hand away.

“Maybe I'll just need to use you eh, Daryleen?” He whispered near his cheek and Daryl turned his head away. “Wouldn't be the first time.” He added and Daryl felt a flash of nausea.

“Not this time.” He said in weak voice and lifted his crossbow and to aimed for his brothers leg. Merle didn't like that and now they were struggling, Daryl got a few hits on his ribs. Daryl tried to hold on to his weapon, but Merle succeeded to twist his arm almost to the breaking point and he had to let go. His beloved crossbow flew to the ground and Merle went straight to his hands, trying to trap him. Daryl slipped away from his grasp and tried to get away. The branches under his feet snapped under his weight as he ran. He should have foreseen this. He could have been safe if they hadn't agreed on staying, keeping Merle away from those women. It had taken only a fucking week around those fucking women to drive Merle up to this point. Daryl cursed under his breath. He heard Merle behind him, closing in. He stumbled and Merle took this chance to tackle his feet. And he was falling down, the dry leaves not softening the fall at all. He hit his head and hissed in pain.

“Now, now, stay still, baby brother.” Merle was sitting on his back, trying to trap his hands and Daryl tried to kick him.“Whoa there” was the only comment he got.

“Get off me!” Daryl hissed and struggled against the weight holding him down. A sharp punch in his ribs hurt like hell, but he kept on struggling. Merle grunted in irritation. The second hit went straight to his head and Daryl groaned in pain. Everything went dizzy and Merle took this opportunity to tie down his hands with his belt. Everything was a blur to Daryl, he only felt the pain in his head, the dry leaves under him and Merle's heavy breathing behind him.

“Finally, to the business.” Merle muttered and Daryl could feel his pants going down. The panic grew heavy in his chest, it cut trough all the pain in his head, trough the dizziness. Merle was really going to rape him. “No no no no, stop it Mer, you don't want to do this, please” he hear himself begging and all Merle did was give one of his sick laughs. Then there was the sharp pain. Daryl couldn't help but cry out loud. He felt so sick _Oh God._ He shut his eyes and tried to gasp for air. He tried to fight hands free but was punished with one painful thrust inside. He let out a small whimper. It was all too much, feeling his brother inside of him, his breath on his back and the bruising hands on his hips. His heart beat in his ribs and he couldn't breathe. The pain didn't go away, it grew and grew and Daryl could hear himself begging his brother to stop, and Merle just went faster, slamming inside of him again and again and again. And the he gave a unrefined grunt and slumped on top of him. He calmed down his breath and unceremoniously pulled out.

“Well that was nice, wasn't it?” Merle said, catching his breath and giving a slight tap on his ass. “Now here's the deal. We are both going to go back to the camp tomorrow evening. I'll be waiting you in this spot.” He freed Daryl's hands. “Don't forget to bring some food.”

And then he walked away.

 

- 

 

Daryl couldn't stop trembling. He sat in the cold water, naked. He had wandered to the lake that the women washed everybody's clothes in. He had scrubbed his skin until it was angry red and sore. He took a trembling breath and tried to calm down. It didn't work.

“Aw fuck.” he mumbled, lowering his head to his hands. His eyes prickled. Daryl realized he was crying. He hadn't done that in years.

“I don't have time for this.” he mumbled, angry at himself. And even more angry at Merle. He got up, reaching for his clothes. The tears smeared his face, and Daryl tried to will them to stop oozing out of his eyes. With trembling hands he pulled his jeans on. He had trouble with his zipper.

“Damn it!” he shouted and wiped his eyes. It still didn't stop. His breath was uneven and he was dizzy again. He heard a noise behind him, and with quick moves he had his crossbow in his hands, eyes looking for the source. Not a single soul had seen Daryl Dixon crying since he was six years old and beside her mothers closed coffin. But there stood Shane, staring straight at his tear striped face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane's on to Merle.

Shane had been very alarmed when he had seen Daryl alone by the lake. And when Daryl had turned around and he saw that he had cried. _What the hell is so bad that it makes Daryl cry?_ It didn't make any sense. A dozen thoughts flashed trough his mind. Shane took a quick step forward.

”Did the walkers attack? Is Merle alright?” He questioned and furrowed when Daryl flinched like he had struck him. He took a closer look at the other in the darkness.

”You're hurt.” He took another step forward but stopped on his tracks when Daryl aimed very pointedly at his head.

”Don't come closer.” His voice cracked as he gave the order. Daryl wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Shane was very unsure how to proceed. They stood still for a minute, Shane refused to leave before the other told him if there were walkers nearby or not. And if the brothers hadn't gotten attacked what had gotten this guy into this state. The wheels in Shane's head were turning and ticking.

“Are you alright?” Shane asked while Daryl chose to stare holes on his head. He blinked rapidly for a few times. Shane sighed.

“Can you at least tell me if you were attacked? Are there walkers around?” Shane inquired and Daryl shook his head, not trusting his voice anymore. Shane's shoulders slumped in relief. But then there was this other issue to solve.

“Where's your brother?” Shane almost didn't see it, but Daryl winced again. He picked up his shirt from the ground and put it on. It was a relief to not be pointed at with his crossbow, but something was wrong.

“In the woods.” Came the response and as far as Shane could tell, he was telling the truth, however vague it was. And then Daryl was walking past Shane in a hurry. Shane grabbed his arm and kept him still.

“Where do you think you are going?” He demanded.

 

-

 

Daryl felt so tired. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to hold all the feelings safe inside, for nobody to see or touch. And then this asshole asked if he's 'alright'? It started oozing out again, the betraying tears, and Daryl hated the fact that he couldn't control it. And then he spoke of Merle. His chest tightened and then he remembered the leaves against his chest, and the hot breath on his neck. He felt so bare, so naked. He grabbed his shirt and covered himself. He needed to get away, he needed to be alone. And then Shane took a hold of him and he was too tired to fight Shane's grip. The hand felt like it was burning his skin trough the shirt.

“Don't touch me.” He growled and stared straight to Shane's eyes.

Shane releases him, but doesn't step back.

“You can tell me.” He says quietly. Damn, the git almost looked like he cared.

Daryl lowered his gaze to the ground. _No, I can't_. He lifted his stare back and took a handful of Shane's shirt and pulled him closer.

“You ever mention what ya saw tonight to anyone, I'll gut you like a pig and feed ya your own intestines,we clear on this?” He growled to Shane's ear before disappearing to the dark woods.

 

-

 

Shane was concerned but the work load in the camp kept his mind busy. It wasn't his place to put his nose into, right? _Right_. And when the Dixon brothers came back that evening with a deer and a dozen squirrels he had almost forgotten all about it. Somehow nobody didn't even comment on the nasty looking bruise on Daryl's forehead. Well, the fresh food was quite the distraction. Even Merle seemed bearable that evening. And when Lori sneaked up to his tent that night, Daryl was gone far away from Shane's mind.

 

-

 

It was after two days when he thought of the whole scene again. He had just came out from Dale's trailer and had a straight view to Dixon brother's tent. Merle had a firm grip on Daryl's shoulder and was whispering something to his ear. After a few words, Daryl shook Merle's hand violently off of him. The other gave a dry laugh and walked away. The other was left there standing alone, breathing heavily. Then he had lifted his eyes and had seen Shane watching. His eyes widened slightly and they stood there for a minute, staring each other. Shane furrowed when Daryl turned away, walking to the woods again. _This is getting weird._

 

-

 

“What's wrong, Shane?” He was sitting beside the lake with Lori and Carl was playing in the water with Sophia.

“Hm?” Shane snapped out of his thoughts and turned his head towards Lori. “How do you mean?”

“How do I mean.” Lori scoffed. “You have that worrying face, and if something is worrying you, it worries me.” Shane gave a small laugh. He glanced around and took a hold of Loris hand.

“Nothing for you to worry, babe.” he assured and gave a slight squeeze for reassurance. _At least_ n _othing for you hear._ Shane could say that he was in love with this woman, but she had a loose tongue with certain things. How fun would she have with the information that Shane had seen Daryl crying in this very same place they were sitting now? Then the said man walked down the road to the lake. He gave an awkward glance towards them, and walked to the opposite direction from them. He was carrying a bag full of clothes and a washing board with him.

“That's odd.” Lori commented. “I didn't even know he washed his clothes.”

“What do you mean?” Shane asked after giving a laugh.

“Well he and Merle never give us their clothes to wash, we just kinda assumed they didn't wash them.” Lori waved to Carl who was doing somersault in the water. “And the brothers are pretty dirty all the time.” Shane laughed with Lori.

“That's true.”

 

-

 

Daryl chewed his upper lip as he dumped all the clothes on the ground. He glanced Lori, Shane and the kids. They seemed to have fun. He sat near the water and started the mission 'get cleaner clothes'. He hummed some song he had heard from the radio months ago and relaxed. This was how he liked to be, outside and alone.

“Why are you washing your clothes?” Well, almost alone. He glanced Sophia and Carl who had swam closer to him.

“Why does anybody wash their clothes?” He answered calmly and checked his shirt. _Clean enough._ The kids were whispering to each-others now. Sophia seemed scared to talk to him, so Carl operated as the spokesman.

“Do you own a gun?” He asked and Daryl gave a small smile to the curious kids.

“Yes I do.” He answered and Sophia whispered something to Carl's ear.

“Can we see it?” he asked eagerly. Daryl glanced to the opposite shore and back to the kids.

“I'm not very sure if your mum would appreciate that.” He said while taking another shirt from the cloth pile. Carl shook his head.

“She won't mind.” He said. “I've seen a gun before. My dad was a cop.” He said proudly.

“Then why do you need to see a gun again?” Daryl asked and scrubbed the shirt.

“Well, Sophia hasn't seen one.” Carl answered and Sophia gave him a shy smile.

“But she has seen a shotgun that her dad owns.” The kids looked slightly let down. _Kids these days_.

He threw the shirt in top of the other clean shirt and pulled his gun from the back of his jeans. The kids gave an admiring gasps. Well, it was a pretty gun, his dad's old piece. He even liked it himself. Carl reached out to touch it and he put it away.

“Ya only asked to see it.” he teased the kid and picked up one pair of dirty jeans.

“Okay kids, enough bullying Daryl.” Shane said from behind him and the kids hurried back to the other side of the lake. Shane sat next to him, putting his feet to the water. They watched Lori and the kids walking up the hill, back to the camp. It was nice, Daryl thought, sitting in silence with Shane. He started humming again without noticing.

“You know you could leave the washing to the women.” Daryl shrugged.

“Why? I have time to do it myself.” He threw another piece of clothing to the clean pile.

“And I like it. It's calm.” He continued after a minute. Shane nodded in agreement. They sat in silence again.

“Are you ever going to tell me what happened that night?” Shane asked softly. Daryl could feel his muscles tensing. He was biting his lip again.

“Probably not.” He said silently. Shane nodded.

“OK. Can you at least tell me that everything is alright?” He asked and Daryl didn't know why he wasn't yelling at this guy, telling him that it was none of his business. But it felt like Shane cared, and Daryl hadn't had that kinda feeling in his life since his mum died. It was a rare thing and it was difficult to deny. He just nodded, not sure what to say.

“Good.” Shane said, though he likely didn't buy it. Shane sat next to him until he had washed all his clothes.

 

-

 

Now it had been a week from that 'scene'. It was Shane's night watch turn and everybody had just gone to sleep. He was sitting on the on Dale's trailer and everything was calm. It was a nice summer night, and he could see the stars. He tried to remember the names of constellations he had learned as a kid. He dozed off inside his mind when he heard noises of an argument. He perked up in his seat and tried to detect the source. He squinted his eyes to see better in the darkness. Then he spotted two figures near the Dixon brother's tent. There was no doubt about those figures, it was Merle and Daryl. Shane almost let it go, but then he saw Merle taking a hold of Daryl's neck and he tried to drag him to the woods. Daryl fought back but still they disappeared to the forest. _What the hell?_ Shane picked up his rifle and lowered himself down from the roof. He ran to the forest, after the brothers.

 

 -

 

Merle was dragging him in the woods and Daryl was getting slightly panicky. He elbowed Merle's stomach, and he loosened the hold in his neck, and Daryl took this chance duck and turn. He knew he couldn't overpower his brother so he tried to run. He ran deeper in to the woods, but the running and fighting Merle angered his head wound and soon he felt dizzy.

“Not fucking now.” He muttered under his breath as he slid down an abrupt hill. He hid behind a rock to take a few breaths. Daryl peeked behind the rock. _Fuck._ Merle was standing just up the hill. He was looking around, not spotting Daryl yet. He gave a dramatic sigh.

“I really don't get this cat and mouse game you're playing.” He walked down the hill, still searching him with his eyes. “Didn't really help ya at home, it ain't gonna help ya here.” He walked in small circles now.

“Didn't work for dad's belt for nineteen years.” He taunted and Daryl winced at his words. He tried to move his left, more hidden from Merle's eyes. And then the god damn branch snaps under his boot. _Fuck fuck fuck._ He sat silent, hoping Merle had missed the small sound.

“See, baby brother.” Merle was on top of the rock, behind him. “It never works.” Merle wrapped his arms around his neck, into a chokehold.

“Mer, leggo!” He hissed and tried to pull Merle's arms away and earned that dirty laugh. Merle jumped off the rock, and dragged Daryl few steps forward. When he tried to elbow Merle again he threw him on the ground. He took away his belt and Daryl was still trying to get some air in to his lungs.

“It will-” Merle was muttering, and sat on top of him “-always-” he had a hold of his arms now “-end just-” he was tying them once again and Daryl's struggles seemed pointless “-like this.” Merle finished and gave a heavy bunch to his stomach. It left Daryl gasping for air.

“Now then.” He clasped his hands together. “To the big prize, Daryleen.”

 

- 

 

Shane heard Merle's voice somewhere on his right. It was pretty far away, but he hurried towards the noise. He could hear Merle muttering something and he knew he was close.

“To the big prize, Daryleen.” Shane could see them now down the hill. Shane was nailed to the ground. On the ground, Merle was pulling Daryl's jeans down. Oh. _Oh._

“Mer, don't.” Daryl pleaded and Shane realized he had to do something. _Move._


	3. Chapter 3

Merle was pulling down his jeans, and Daryl was trying to make it as difficult as he could. The clicking sound of a gun loading surprised the both of them. Merle turned around, scanning wildly the surroundings and finally his eyes locked up to the hill.

"Shane." Merle commented dumbfound. Daryl craned his neck to see past Merle and saw him too. It was silly how relieved he felt at the sight of him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Merle demanded, "Don't you know better than to intervene in other peoples business?" Daryl squirmed under Merle's heavy weight. He felt a sudden heat in his cheeks and realized he was blushing. For fucks sake, he was embarrassed.

"It's a cop thing." Shane commented and waved the gun towards them. "Would you mind taking your belt off of Daryl's hands?" Shane asked with a perfectly calm voice. Merle didn't move for a second, and Daryl was sure that he was weighting his options.

"Whatever." Was his answer and he turned towards Daryl to let him free. He bended his head closer to Daryl and he turned his head away in instinct.

"We ain't done yet, baby bro." He whispered and gave a low laugh. It sent cold shivers down on Daryl's spine. As he had his hands back he managed to push Merle away from on top of him and then he crawled further away from him. This seemed to amuse his brother to no end. The air was filled with an awkward silence as Daryl pulled his jeans back up. Merle was very pointedly not watching Shane at all, just staring at Daryl. And Daryl tried to avoid looking at either of the guys, closing his zipper. He still felt too naked. Nobody didn't seem to know how to proceed. Daryl realized he was the only one on the ground and didn't like his weak position in this Mexican standout. He made a move to stand, and there was a flashing pain from his ribcage. Daryl slumped to the ground with a hiss. He took a calming breath while praying that his ribs weren't broke. _Mer can't punch_ that _hard._ He struggled onto his feet. Shane made a disgusted noise and it seemed to tick Merle off.

“What the hell was that?” Merle imitated Shane's noise. _Oh fuck._ Shane sifted the weight between his legs and sneered at both of them.

“My apologies, I just don't witness incest everyday.” Daryl had to lower his head again as the words sunk to his head. He felt sick again.

 

-

 

Shane hadn't felt indifferent in how to deal with these two, but as he saw Daryl crawl away from Merle, needing to put ground between them, seeing how his fellow survivor pulled up his pants and hissed in pain he felt utter disgust. Merle started barking at him and he answered coldly. What kind of question that even is? He's Daryl's big brother for Gods sake. Who does that? Rage was building up in his head.

“Well easy for ya to say since ya get a slice of that bony bitch of yours whenever ya like.” Merle was barking again and laughed. “I'll take what I can.” Shane was purely struck by this mans morals. Daryl muttered something under his breath, only audible for Merle's ears. The older Dixon brother's fist swung, aimed for the head of the younger. They started an outright brawl.

“Hey!” Shane yelled, “Remember the guy with the gun?” There was an impressive kick on Merle's stomach and Merle countered with a heavy punch to the ribs. _Apparently not._ Shane lowered his gun and hurried down the hill, Daryl was getting his ass kicked. Shane took a hold of his rifle. The back of his rifle and Merle's head had a date, one heavy blow to the head and he was down. He kicked him twice on the side for a good measure. Heavy breathing was the only noise in the air and Shane let his left hand go trough his messy hair. The silence lasted for what felt like ages to Shane. Daryl only stared at his brother, not moving at all.

“So.” Daryl lifted his gaze up to meet his eyes. “I have a few ideas what to do with him, but I'm not so sure you'll agree to them.” He mildly joked, rolling he gun awkwardly in his hands. He gained a shift smile.

“Care to share?” Daryl asked his scruffy voice. Shane licked his lips, this wasn't going to go smoothly.

“That night at the lake. I need to know, Daryl-” The other man shook his head but he pressed on, “-did he go further than tonight?” Daryl didn't meet his eyes anymore.

“I wouldn't pry otherwise, but I need to know how grave this situation is.” Did he want to know, he wasn't even sure himself. Daryl then lifted up his head, and Shane almost flinched back from the pure hostility in his eyes. That was an answer enough. Shane closed his eyes for a second and sighed.

“Then we can't have him near you anymore.” This was the first thought that Shane had. “He isn't part of our group anymore.”

“What? So we just leave him here?” Shane was puzzled, this wasn't the reaction he was expecting. “I ain't leaving him to the woods for bunch of walkers to eat!” Daryl took a step closer. “He's still my brother, I won't abandon him!” Shane shook his head.

“He's not safe to keep with us. With you.” Daryl gave him a look that said _I dare you_. “I just met him a week ago and I can tell you that he won't stop... hurting you until he has no other choice.” Shane took a step closer.

“He's the only family I got.” Daryl was staring straight into his eyes. Loyalty. Shane didn't get it. After what this asshole had done he was still loyal to him. The silence stretched. Merle groaned on the ground, pressuring Shane to make a decision.

“Fine. He can stay.”

 

-

 

Daryl was temporally sleeping in Shane's tent, since they were low on options that night. He was alone there, Shane had the night watch to finish and Merle was in their tent, probably already sleeping. Daryl snuggled deeper in the sleeping bag and tried to fight off the sick feeling. He was drifting between dreams and snapping back awake. The hands on his back, pushing him to the ground and then the blue fabric of the tent. Shane looking down from up the hill, speaking. The dark floor. Dad. His own hands. _”I just don't witness incest everyday.”_ When he woke up this time he couldn't fight off the nausea anymore. He dashed out, reaching the near woods before letting it out. The sound of vomit roaming out of his throat and meeting the ground wasn't pretty. It nearly made him sick again. Steadying himself with his right hand on the near tree he wiped his mouth with the other.

“Fuck.” He muttered to himself, taking deep breaths. _Pathetic._ Gaining power over himself, Daryl got up and headed back for Shane's tent, but stopped when he caught the tent's owner staring at him on top of Dale's camper. Daryl tsk'd and retreated to the tent. He didn't sleep anymore..

 

Shane watched as Daryl disappeared to his tent and huffed. What a night. Shane had a lot of thinking to do. The simple thing would be to kick him out of the camp. But then again, they would have to move their camp, as he didn't buy that Merle would stay away just because he's told to. _What a pain._ Shane was pulling his hand trough his hair again. _Gotta protect the group._ And Merle was part of their group, even though he didn't like it. He was lost in thought until Dale emerged from his camper and wished him good morning. The sun was rising and Shane squinted his eyes looking at the beauty of it. At least some things didn't change. He came down from the roof and muttered good mornings to people who emerged from their tents as he walked towards his own. Daryl wasn't sleeping when he got in but Shane wasn't that surprised. Daryl was maintaining his crossbow as his head shot up.

“Is it morning?” He asked and put his arrows to the holder. Shane just nodded as he collapsed on his own sleeping bag. The sleep was taking over pretty fast. Daryl was making his way out but Shane stopped him before he got out, taking a hold of his arm. It seemed to annoy Daryl but he didn't move.

“You'll manage, right?” Shane muttered from his pillow. Daryl frowned but nodded.

“Right.” Shane drifted to sleep.

 

-

 

Daryl went on with the daily routine. Nobody seemed to question the distance he kept with Merle. Daryl helped to make traps for any walkers that might come too close to the camp, tin cans, holes in the ground, the old tricks would work just fine. They should build a fence around to make it even safer. _Better speak to Shane about it._ The morning changed to a day and by then Daryl was covered in dirt. He walked towards their water center and started to splash water to clean at least some of the soil away.

“You know little bro,” He started at Merle's voice behind him, but didn't turn around. “I meant what I said earlier.” Water was dripping down his face as he continued to wash his hands.

“And what was that?” Daryl could hear an impatient huff behind him and he smiled at the fact that he had annoyed his brother. But then he could feel the hot breath on his neck that wiped the smile off.

“That we ain't done yet.” Merle growled. Daryl swallowed and turned around to face him.

“Just because ya got a new boyfriend don't mean you're safe.” He put his hand on Daryl's shoulder. Daryl just opened his mouth to retort, but he was interrupted.

“Daryl, could you come over here?” Daryl's eyes flew to Shane. Merle gave a dirty laugh and dropped his hand.

“Can't you hear your owner calling for ya? Run along little doggy, run” Merle mocked and Daryl was close on hitting him, his nails digging into his palms.

“Daryl.” Shane called again, and the fury settled in his stomach. He bumped to Merle as he walked past him, making his way towards Shane.

“Thought you said you'll manage.” Shane commented when he was closer.

“I did.” Daryl grumbled and walked past him.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Daryl walked past Shane, and it didn't need much else to say that the man was pissed. Shane sighed and gave one glare at Merle before he walked after him. _And I just fucking woke up._

“Hey Daryl, hold up.” Shane took a hold of his arm to make him stop. Daryl instinctively pulled his hand back. _Right. Probably not the best thing to do._ But Daryl did turn around to face him again, clear question in his eyes, _what the fuck do you want?_

“You do know that I'm trying to help you, right?” Shane lowered his voice when Dale walked past them. He saw Daryl's jaw clench.

“Don't need your help. Back off.” Daryl growled trough his lips, ready to walk away again but only to be stopped by Shane's hand once more.

“What? Are you kidding me?” He dropped his hands before Daryl complained about it. “Merle just cornered you, once again, and practically ate you up with his eyes.” Daryl glared at him but it missed the usual edge.

“And I didn't miss the hand either.” Shane added. He watched as Daryl sucked his lungs full of air and rubbed his eyes with his palms.

“I don't want your help.” He muttered. Shane gave a small laugh and Daryl looked at him again.

“Sorry, but I don't buy that.” He shifted the weight between his legs. Daryl glared daggers at him but he didn't buckle. Daryl let out a anguished breath.

“Leave me alone.” He finally said and turned to finally leave. The order didn't have an cutting edge that alerted Shane. It had sounded almost like a plead. He saw the man retreating to the woods, _his safe haven,_ Shane realized. He frowned, and wondered if he really should leave the guy alone. Then he glanced behind him and saw Merle smiling by himself. _Totally following him._

 

-

 

Daryl needed to be alone. He wanted away from Merle. He wanted away from Shane and his helpful nature. Dale was walking towards him, looking like he had something urge to talk about. Daryl groaned in irritation. Why couldn't everybody just leave him the hell alone.

“Not now Dale.” He muttered quietly and walked past the man. He could feel Dale's eyes burning on his back. He glanced to his right and saw Andrea looking at him. How he hated being around people. It made him irritate when he felt eyes on him. His stomach fell heavy and the only thought in his head was to get alone. The feeling of being watched stole the air out of his lounges and made him dizzy. The bruise on his forehead pounded and created a headache. He just wanted way. He half ran to the forest, trying to ignore the people around him. He glanced behind him and when he no longer saw the camp his knees buckled and pulled his head between his knees. A panic attack. _Haven't had those in years._ His breathing shuddered and his hands started tingling. _Pathetic_ , he thought as he tried to get his lungs to work properly. The blood pumped in his ears and he could hear his shuddering breaths. And then he heard a branch snap behind him. _Oh God please don't be Merle._

“Go away.” He managed to mutter between his breaths. The person just walked closer and finally stopped next to him. Daryl groaned in annoyance, he didn't want anybody see him like this, this vulnerable. Daryl forced his head up enough to recognize Shane's shoes and dropped it again. There was a rush of calmness rolling over him and it annoyed him to no end that Shane could affect him like that. He heard more than saw Shane lowering himself next to him and then he felt a warm hand on his back. It was difficult to admit but it felt nice. But the natural instinct was to fight it off,

“Just leave me alone.” Was the only thing he managed to say and that didn't really have any edge as he was trying to even his breath.

“Shut up and breathe.” Was Shane's response to Daryl's growling.

 

-

 

Shane had absolutely no idea what to do when he saw Daryl twisted in a small ball. He walked closer and heard Daryl mutter something with his scruffy voice, probably telling him to leave, Shane muted. When he heard him having trouble with breathing he almost panicked. _What the hell do you do in these kinda situations?_ He stood beside him and wondered if Daryl was having a panic attack. There was a shuddered breath and Shane's hand automatically reached out to rub the others back, but stopped mid air. He knew how Daryl usually reacted when he touched him, so it really didn't seem like a smart thing to do. Another shuddered breath escaped the other and the urge to make him feel better overwhelmed him. He lowered himself next to Daryl and let his hand touch his back. He didn't flinch back, so he guessed it hadn't been that bad move. Shane rubbed wide circles on Daryl's back now and both of them very silent for a minute.

“Just leave me alone.” He heard Daryl say and he fought off a smile.

“Shut up and breathe.” He countered and Daryl did shut up. It took a little time, but Daryl's breathing calmed down and soon after that he lifted up his head. The look on his eyes told him that Daryl was grateful but he didn't expect him to say anything. And he didn't.

“You okay now?” Shane asked softly and Daryl nodded. The silence stretched again.

“Were you having a panic attack?” Shane asked out of curiosity. Daryl lowered his gaze and Shane thought he was mad at him again. _Damn._

“Yeah. I used to have them as a kid.” Daryl muttered softly.

“Can I ask what caused them? Or this right now?” Shane asked, slightly pushing the edge. But Daryl didn't get angry at his questions. He lifted his eyes again to meet Shane's.

“Maybe I'll tell ya someday.” He muttered and gave a quick shift smile. They sat on the forest for a while in a comfortable silence. It was nice and calm and for a second Shane forgot about the apocalypse. He snapped out of his thoughts when the other moved to rub his eyes.

“I, um, I thought about getting a nap, so can I use your tent again?” Daryl asked with his soft voice. Shane remembered Daryl coming out of his tent to vomit at night. Shane realized to nod after a second.

“Yeah sure.” Daryl nodded too and they got up to leave back to the camp.

 

-

 

Daryl took off his shoes and his shirt, placed his beloved crossbow next to him before snuggling inside his sleeping bag. He hadn't even realized how tired he had been until he switched off to sleep like a lamp. He had a nice dream, he was back in their house and his mum was baking a pie. The dream didn't last long, as he was pulled back to reality when he felt a light touch in his arm. By reflex he grabbed whoever intruder it was and pushed it on it's back. There was a high pitched yelp and Daryl focused his dreamy eyes. He automatically expected that it had been Merle, but he was wrong.

“Lori?” He let go and rolled back to his sleeping bag. _Well this is slightly confusing._

“What the hell are you doing here?” Lori blurted in confusion, and rubbed her hand.

“I can ask ya the same thing.” He pulled his shirt back on and waited for an answer, but Lori only managed to open and close her mouth while the red spread on her face. Daryl rolled his eyes, _useless woman._

“Do ya mind leaving so I can go back to sleep?” This put Lori back to motion and she nodded and disappeared out of the tent. Daryl stared after her for a minute and shook his head.

“Weirdo.”

 

 -

 

Shane was speaking with Morales about the traps the others had made earlier that day when he saw Lori approaching. _Man she looks pissed._

“Excuse me for a second Morales.” Shane met her halfway and directed her near the woods.

“What's wrong?” Shane asked when they were out of hearing zone of the others. Lori huffed and puffed and Shane thought it looked cute.

“What's wrong? Let's start with why the hell is Daryl in your tent?” Not really the question he was expecting. _How do I explain this._

“He's been having... problems with his brother, so I offered my tent for him for the time being.” Shane explained vaguely. That seemed to calm Lori a bit. Her hand flew to her mouth.

“Oh, do you mean the bruise on his forehead?” Shane nodded.

“Among other things.” He added under his breath.

“I knew Merle was an asshole, but this is something else.” Lori commented.

“That he is. Hey, how did you even find out that he was there?” Shane asked and saw Lori blushing.

“I sneaked up to your tent and I thought he was you.” Shane couldn't help but laugh at the thought of both of their confused faces. Lori slapped his arm.

“Not funny! That guy is like a damn ninja. The moment I touched him he grabbed me and pushed me to my back.” That wiped the smile off of Shane's face.

“Are you okay?” Lori nodded.

“Yeah, kinda surprised me though.” Now even Lori gave a bit of a laugh.

 

 -

 

Nothing but nightmares after Lori had left the tent. Daryl woke after a few hours and lied in his sleeping bag, feeling the sweat cool on his skin. The nightmares had worsened in these zombie months, but Daryl didn't think too much of it. _It's normal to have nightmares when shit's going on right?_ He rubbed his face and wiped the sweat off his forehead. He sat up and huffed. _Stuff to do._ His stomach growled. _Like eating._ He grabbed his crossbow and put on his shoes before leaving the tent. He had woken up just in time for dinner. Or almost. It looked like most of the people had eaten already. There was a handful of camp members, Shane as well, sitting around two camp fires. A bowl full of some kinda soup was offered to him by Shane.

“Thanks.” He muttered and offered a small smile.

“Did you sleep well?” Shane asked as Daryl took the first sip of the soup.

“Yeah.” Daryl muttered between his gulps. Shane sifted himself closer and cleared his throat.

“You gave a little fright to Lori earlier.” He said with a lowered voice.

“That so?” Daryl commented, scooping more soup to his mouth.

“Sorry about it by the way. Didn't really expect her to come there.” Shane apologized and laughed. “She said you were like a damn ninja.” Daryl spluttered some of his soup.

“What?” Daryl laughed too. The sound of soft murmuring and clatter of the dishes filled the air. Daryl cleared his throat and Shane lifted up his gaze.

“Mind if I ask how long ya two have been together?” Shane gave a small sad smile and Daryl thought he shouldn't have asked.

“Couple weeks I guess. It's kinda, um, difficult.” Shane answered. “But isn't it always.” He sighed.

“Wouldn't really know.” Daryl muttered softly. “I've never dated.” Shane's spoon stilled half way to his mouth.

“Are you serious?” Daryl glared at him and he laughed in disbelief. “Gotta tell you, that's hard to buy.” Daryl just shrugged and filled his bowl again. He wondered who had made the food.

“Whatever, it's the truth.” Shane shook his head, still not buying it.

“How can you even.. avoid that stuff?” Daryl shrugged again.

“It ain't that difficult. I just never met anybody of my taste, I guess.” He stared at the fire for a second. “It ain't that hard to avoid if ya ain't around people.” Shane seemed to remember his spoon and continued eating.

“We used to live this big farm when I was a kid. It was a middle of this one forest, so not much people around there.” Shane nodded, urging him to continue.”We even had cows and sheep and even this little piece of field.” Daryl smiled at the warm memory.

“But then my mum died, dad went more downhill and after two years we had lost pretty much everything.” Daryl licked his lips.

“Before he died we moved into a RV near that same forest. It was nearer the town I guess, but still, not the best places to meet chicks.” He cleared his throat and ate a spoonful.

“It's pretty strange that the biggest change after the walkers came is that I meet more people now.”

He gave a sad laugh. They were silent again. A crack from the fire snapped Daryl back from his thoughts. He noticed that he and Shane were the only ones around the fire.

“Well I'm banging my dead best friend's wife.” Daryl's brows flew up.

“And now I get the difficult part.” They both burst out to laugh.

 

-

 

Daryl walked to the water center and Shane headed off to sleep. He put their dishes among the others for the women to clean tomorrow.

“Ya seemed to enjoy your boyfriends company just now.” Merle, _of course._

“We just talked, that's all.” Daryl turned to face his brother. Merle walked lazily closer.

“And what did ya talk about?” He asked.

“I told him about our farm.” Daryl answered and changed the weight between his legs.

“Really now?” Merle asked. Daryl glanced around and noticed Jim on the roof of Dale's camper.

“Really.” Merle stopped a two foot away.

“Did ya tell him about how dad's belt felt when he hit you?” Daryl flinched.

“Or did ya tell about that one time he locked you into that closet for two days?” Merle laughed his sick laugh. “Good times.”

“I wasn't the only one who got a piece of his belt.” Merle's face twitched.

Daryl didn't get it. What was Mer doing this for? There usually was a reason for his bickering, normally to make him vulnerable for his attacks, but he knew Mer wasn't going to harm him. He never harmed him in front of other people and after Shane caught him redhanded Daryl was sure he knew about Jim being on the nightwatch on top of the RV. Merle wasn't going to let that Shane scene happen again therefore no physical contact, Daryl knew that. So what was his motive?

"Have fun in your boyfriends tent." Merle jabbed and turned around to leave. And then Daryl realized it.

"You gotta be shitting me." He couldn't help the slip, but it was so silent that Merle didn't hear it. The realization was too shocking. Merle was actually jealous. "What the actual fuck." Daryl muttered under his breath. He had never handled a jealous Merle before.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merle's playing a comic villain

Daryl swiped the sweat off his brow. The summer sun was baking him alive, as he was cleaning his crossbow and the arrows he had left. He was feeling grumpy. He hadn't slept well and kept wondering what Mer was up to. He was planning something in that brain of his. How did Daryl know this? Instead of getting more mean and insane, instead of being _himself_ , Merle was being _nice_. Or at least as nice as Merle could get. He could see his brother speaking with Ed beside the water center. _Mer doesn't talk with people._ Daryl thought grudgingly and scrubbed dried blood from his arrow. _Neither does Ed._ Daryl's furrow deepened as he gave yet another glance towards them. Merle was up to something. Daryl picked another arrow and scrubbed it. He could hear laughter on his other side, the hunter turned his scowl there and huffed. Lori and Shane, of course, the two lovebirds. Two very annoying lovebirds. Daryl huffed again and picked another arrow.

”Whoa there, are you trying to kill someone with that stare?” Daryl scowled at Dale who walked closer and sat next to him.

”Woke up on the wrong foot?” Dale questioned and Daryl decided the man sounded way too cheerful.

”Somethin' like that.” He grunted and scrubbed harder as he heard Lori's laughter. Dale eyed him for a second.

”Well, I thought I should return these.” Dale landed a few tools to the ground and Daryl gave them a short glance.

”Ain't those the ones I said I'd lend ya?” Dale nodded and Daryl stilled his hands ”Don't remember handin' those to ya.” Dale rose his hands like he tried to calm Daryl down.

”I admit I took them without your consent, but I got an OK from Shane.” Daryl turned his gaze to Shane and sent him daggers.

”Privacy is a rare thing these days, and that's why I don't want to put my nose somewhere I shouldn't,-” Now Daryl turned his eyes back to Dale.

”Then don't.” He cut in. Dale gave him an apologizing smile and continued.

”But I saw what you have behind your trunk.” _Oh,_ Daryl tensed when he realized what they were talking about.

”Don't see how this is yar business, Dale.” He pointed the arrow in his hand towards Dale. Which seemed to make the man edgy, Daryl noted with satisfaction. However the man pressed on.

“I just would like to know, is the...” Dale waved his hands vaguely, searching for a word, “the cocaine for you, Merle or the both of you, or, or for a whole army!” Dale gave an awkward laugh and Daryl stared the man coldly and almost didn't answer. But when he saw the concern in Dale's eyes he gave in.

“Don't think this is any of yar business. But it ain't mine, OK?” He continued cleaning his arrow. “Merle owns that crap.” Dale nodded, seeming a bit more relaxed.

“He doesn't even do it as often as he used to.” Daryl muttered to himself. There was another giggle from Lori and Daryl glared at her. _I've never heard something so annoying._ Dale gave him a funny look.

“Something wrong with you and Lori?” He questioned.

“Why are ya so nosy today, huh? Just leave me alone.” Daryl snapped and got up with his things. He headed for the lake and cursed on the way. What Dale had asked had been a pretty good question. The thing was, there was nothing wrong between him and Lori. Still, everything the woman did seemed irritating as hell. Daryl kicked a rock and wondered what made the woman so annoying. A distant yelp pulled Daryl away from his thoughts. He stilled and tried to hear it again. He didn't have to wait long.

"Help!" He heard it clearly now. Daryl realized that the sound came from the lake, and he started to run. As he lowered himself down the road, he could see clearly what was happening; there were five walkers surrounding a small group of women and children. Daryl recognized Carol and Sophie from the group as he drew in. When he was within a shooting range, Daryl automatically lifted his bow, only to notice that he hadn't loaded it.

”Son of a-” The walkers were closing in to the group. Cursing Dale in his mind for distracting him, Daryl thought fast. Sound. The geeks reacted to sound.

"Hey! Over here ya fuckers! Come and get it!" He loaded his crossbow while two geeks turned towards him, creating a safe passage for the group. The women ushered their kids forward, escaping from the hungry walker jaws.

"Go to the camp!" Daryl shouted as he shot the first walker efficiently and dealt with the other in another heartbeat. Three of the remaining walkers dragged themselves closer, Daryl being the only thing between them and the women now. This was getting to close-combat and the man realized he didn't have the time to draw another arrow. Pulling a hunting knife from his belt, he swung the blade to the closest head. There was a loud crunch when the blade met the target. Adrenaline pumped trough Daryl as he took a few steps back, drawing some distance. _Only two left_. Daryl lifted the knife, ready to attack the closer one. The blade dug deep into the soft brain. The last walker was closing in. The hunter started to pull his knife out, when the geek with his blade in her brain reached it's arms towards him. Taken by a surprise, Daryl took a step back in instinct, the knife still stuck to the walker. _Just a death spasm,_ Daryl realized. The hunter realized how unarmed he was and there was still one walker to take care off. Suddenly the geek was too near, too soon, attacking him. Daryl took a few haste steps back, brains ticking. _I'm fuckin' screwed,_ was the only thought rolling in his head. Daryl was eyeing for any usable rocks on the ground. He needed a weapon. A loud shot echoed in the valley, and Daryl ducked automatically at the sound. When the sound disappeared, he lifted his head to see the last crippled geek lying on the ground, with a huge hole in his head. Turning his eyes up the hill, he could see shapes of people from the camp. And a few feet lower there was Merle, lowering a rifle. _Great,_ Daryl bended to pull his hunting knife off with a twist. _My day's gettin' better and better._ People lowered themselves down the hill, as the younger Dixon brother wiped the knife to his jeans. 

“Daryl! You alright?” He recognized Shane's voice but ignored it. 

“Why the hell wasn't anybody carrying a gun?” He demanded and spat to the ground. There were a few glances in the crew and unsure muttering. Daryl was fucking pissed off, and the adrenaline pumping through his veins wasn't calming him down. 

“It ain't really a walk in a park when ya separate from the group, there's a world full of fucking walkers and you go off with ya kids here without a weapon? Do ya want to get eaten?” Daryl drawled, pulling his arrows out of the skulls. The ones he had just cleaned.

“Calm down Daryl. Those were the first one's up here, they've never come this high to the mountains before. Mistakes happen.” Dale commented. Daryl opened his mouth to share a piece of his mind but Shane interrupted him.

“Mistakes like this can cost lives. Daryl's right, we can't afford to go wandering off like that anymore.” Shane looked into the eyes of every person who was there.

“We have to start moving in groups that hold at least one person who can handle a gun or a knife. We should discuss this more by the campfire tonight. Okay?”

Shane continued. There was a mutual agreement and people headed back to the camp. Daryl was slightly impressed how well Shane handled the situation. He stayed behind, meaning to examine the walkers. Daryl watched as the others walked up the hill. Merle was walking away too, talking with Jim. Merle's eyes fixated on his for a second. Daryl could swear he saw a smirk on Merle's face.

 

 -

 

Daryl stared slightly past Shane, at the people walking away. The heavy stone in his stomach didn't ease even though he saw that Daryl was well. When he had seen Daryl fighting the walkers he'd be lying if he said he hadn't felt alarmed.

“So, are you alright Daryl?” He asked again, _just to make sure._ Daryl just seemed to notice that he was there. He blinked a few times and nodded.

“Yeah, I'm good.” Shane drew his hand trough his hair.

“Good. That's good.” Daryl tinkered an arrow in his hands. _Good. That's all you can think of Shane?_ They stood in silence. Daryl stared at his hands.

“Thank you. I think no one said that to you.” Daryl lifted his head and seemed surprised. He looked into Shane's eyes and gave a quick smile. Somehow it made Shane happy. He cleared his throat and turned to look at the walkers.

“What do you think we should do with these fellas?” 

“Not sure. Saw the military burnin' them, could do that?” Daryl offered. Shane agreed and ran his hand through his hair.

“We should drag them further away from the lake.” Daryl threw his bow over his shoulder and they dragged the walkers in silence. They piled them to the edge of the forest. Shane looked at Daryl's back as they worked. It was hard not to, Daryl had wide shoulders and was muscular. Shane noticed he had some kind of a tattoo in his back. He realized he was staring, _not good, not good._ Shane cleared his throat and broke the silence.

“How's it going with Merle?” Daryl stilled for a second and kept silent. Shane was sure he had fucked up.

“Look, I'm sorry-” “It's OK.” Daryl grunted as he threw the last walker on top of the pile. He swiped his brow before he spoke again. The sun burned his bare shoulders.

“Haven't spoken with him for days. I dunno.” He frowned. “I think he's up to something. He's acting strange.” Shane took a sip of his water bottle and offered it to Daryl.

“How?” Daryl took a long drink and offered the bottle back. He stared at Shane for a minute.

“He's bein' nice.” Shane couldn't help put snort and earned a glare from Daryl. Shane cleared his throat. 

“Nice?”

“Whatever, forget I even said nothin'” Daryl walked past him, and Shane felt a bang of guilt. The guy was trying to share his thoughts after all. So Shane walked after him.

“Daryl, I'm sorry. Come back.” Shane caught up to him and he stopped walking.

“I'm sorry. What do you think he's planning?” Daryl looked like he tried to drill a hole trough his brain, but cave in.

“Mer ain't a nice person, never has been. He might seem like a rabid dog, but he's mostly like that when his on something. When he's off the snow he can get clever. There's no knowing really.” Daryl shrugged. Shane dragged his hand trough his hair again. _Just what I need, a scheming Merle Dixon._

“Seen him talkin' to Ed and Jim. That's all I know.” Shane mulled the knowledge in his brain for a minute. 

“I'll look into it. OK?” Daryl nodded. They went to the camp to get some gasoline.

 

 -

 

The campfire cracked, snapping Daryl out of his thoughts. The group was discussing about the walkers, guns and how everybody would be safe. Daryl didn't see how he was responsible on keeping these strangers alive so he had drifted to his thoughts while Shane, Dale and that black guy mostly did the talking. 

“So, agreed then? Everything’s clear?” Shane confirmed and there was a positive murmur. Ed tsk'd loudly and deserved everybody's attention. Shane sighed in irritation.

“Something you want to share, Ed?” Daryl followed with interest. Ed shrugged,

“Just want to know who died and made you the boss.” Ed spat to the ground. _Asshole._

“Didn't notice I got promoted.” Shane tensed. “We are making the decisions together, if you haven't noticed.” Ed rolled his shoulders and stared at Shane.

“Sure.” The group sat in silence by the fire. The air felt heavy.

 

-

 

Daryl cracked his eyes open at the sound of his-, _Shane's,_ tent zipper opening. He rubbed his sleepy eyes and recognized Shane's blurry shape.

“Hey,” he muttered, voice soft from the sleep. He had been on the night watch and got to sleep at the break of dawn. His sight sharpened and his eyes flew open at the sight. Shane had a blossoming bruise on his temple and a split lip. The ex cop slumped to his bunk and drew hands to his hair.

“What the hell happened to ya?” Daryl peered at Shane as he pulled his shirt on and got up to take a closer look.

“That fucker Ed.” Shane puffed. “Son of a bitch!” He yelled in outrage. 

“Breath man.” Daryl's hand flew to his jaw to check the damage but stopped midair. He gave a questioning glance and Shane nodded. While Shane rambled on about Ed, Daryl inspected his head.

“We've had disagreements since the day we met, but now he was just pushing it.” The hunter touched lightly the other man's cheek, below the bruise. The stubble felt foreign under his fingertips.

“He got ya pretty good. Ya might hav'ta look out for a concussion.” The hunter frowned. “What did ya fight about?” Shane pressed his lip and hissed. Daryl's eyes left there for a second too long. 

“It was about the food. Can food's almost out and Ed was trying to take more than his share. We should make a trip to the city soon.” _Shane's calming down._ _Good._ Daryl's frown deepened.

“Last time I checked Atlanta was filled with walker's.” Shane waved his hand vaguely.

“We've done the trip before. Glenn knows his way around the streets, a few guys can slip in and out easy.” Daryl nodded while drawing his hands back and gave a brief smile.

“You should rest your head.” Daryl glanced at his eyes. Shane grunted and laid down while he went out of the tent, determined to find Merle. This shit had to end. He saw Mer cleaning his gun behind his tent.

“Well hello, baby bro. Yar boyfriend let's ya wander this close to me does he? Does yar owner know where his little doggy roams?” Merle greeted with mocking, but Daryl brushed it off. He took a hold of Mer's shirt and pushed him to a tree.

“What the fuck are you up to, huh?” Merle smirked his sick smile and blinked innocently.

“What ever are ya talking about, Daryleen? I ain't sure I understand.” Then he laughed his hollow laugh. He pushed Daryl's hand away and leaned closer. Daryl took a step back.

“Ya know,” Merle straightened Daryl's collar. “I kinda like this. Messing with yar head.” Daryl growled and pushed Merle away and he just laughed again.

“Ya remember those comics ya used to read as a kid?” Merle licked his lips and nodded. “Yeah, I sorta feel like some villain they had there. Trying to take over the world and all that.” He squinted his eyes and tilted his head.

“Well, at least this camp we're at. I've got half of the camp at my side by now.”

“So, what,” Daryl spurted in disbelief, “ya trying to smoke Shane out or somethin'?” Merle thought for a second and nodded with a crooked smile.

“Yeah.” Daryl shook his head.

“Why the hell are ya doing all this?” Merle was suddenly in his personal space again, face inches away from his. His breath tickled Daryl's face.

“I don't like other people touching my things.” He whispered menacingly. Daryl couldn't do anything else than stare at his brothers face. _He's insane._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a very, very long wait. Thank you for the comments!

Daryl blinked and realized he needed to get away from his brother. To someone. _To_ _Shane._ His thoughts darted to that guy in a split second. Daryl's eyes squinted slightly at the realization, and Merle smirked, knowing he had gotten under his skin.Daryl and Merle stared at each-other, now a too familiar mind game and neither of them isn't willing to back down. The air is heavy with the dampness of the summer evening. The younger brother feels a drop of sweat sliding down his brow. Merle moves his hands to his hips, looking so happy with himself. The wheels crack and turn in the younger brother's head and makes a decision.

Daryl gives one last threatening glare to his brother and turns to walk away to the same direction where he came from. Merle let's him.

“No worries, baby brother,” he hears his brother talking lazily, “I'll be seeing ya real soon.”

 

-

 

Shane lifted his head when he heard somebody coming to the tent. Now a familiar head popped inside.

“Hey, ya ain't supposed to be sleepin',” Daryl said with his soft voice. “Remember the possible concussion?” The hunter settled to his spot and took a red rag from his back pocket and swept his brow.

“I wasn't sleeping.” Shane countered, but rubbed his better eye and sat up. Daryl fidgeted with the rag and gave one of his small smiles after giving him a brief glance. Shane let himself to look at the other man for a minute. He was wearing one of his dirty sleeveless shirts. It gave a nice view to his arms. They were a _really_ nice pair of arms. Shane slightly shook his head. _Don't go there._

“Hey, Shane.” _Shit. He didn't see me staring, did he?_

“Yeah?” Shane watched as Daryl opened and closed his mouth for a few times, trying to say something, but not really getting there. The ex cop waited patiently.

“Should I go huntin'? We're low on food ain't we. I could leave tonight, come back with fresh meat tomorrow or somethin'.” He finally said, and Shane frowned.

“Is it very wise to go out there alone?” And as Daryl shot one of his icy glares, thinking he was implying about Merle, he continued, “I mean there's more walkers around here now.”

“I can handle them.” Daryl grumbled. Shane tried to read the hunters face, wondering where this suddenly came from.

“OK.” The rustling of the tent got their attention and Lori came in, flashing a smile to him and changed it to a worried expression when she saw his face.

“Oh, your face!” Lori came fuzzing in and sat next to Shane, inspecting the mess.

“Hi to you too.” Shane joked and put his arms around her. Lori gently stroked his cheek and smiled.

“I didn't come here only to check up on you, I have some news.” Shane saw Daryl turning his gaze away and Shane suddenly felt weird to show this open affection to Lori. He drew his hands away slightly.

“After you got into the fight with Ed about the food, Glenn got the idea that we should go to Atlanta and get some. And we could use few other stuff too, so a bunch of people volunteered to go there together to be safe. Is it OK?”

“Yeah good, I was just talking to Daryl about the same thing. Who's going?” Shane asked and Lori rubbed circles to his shoulder.

“Jacqui, Andrea, Morales, T-dog, Glenn of course and Merle.” Shane and Daryl glanced each-other.

“When they leavin'?” Daryl asked Lori, who seemed to notice him just then.

“Tomorrow morning, so they can get back soon. At the best they'll be back the next day.” Daryl nodded and snatched his crossbow.

“I'm going huntin'.” He declared and left the tent.

“Okay.” Lori said, turning towards Shane after the tent was shut. “I have a few minutes until I'm needed, and I'm planning on using them well.” Lori gave a irresistible smile and pushed Shane down.

 

-

 

Daryl made his way to the woods, thinking how he should proceed. He knew what he wanted to do, but making it actually happen wasn't so easy. He needed to take Merle away from the camp, before he left to the city. God knows what he had planned to do there. But making Merle give up this stupid power play he'd going on wouldn't be too easy. He had been walking for half an hour, tracking a deer and was too busy trying to come up with a game plan that he hadn't heard him. An arm was around his throat, and a needle pierced through his skin. Before Daryl could even rise his hand to defend himself, he passed out.

 

-

 

Shane chopped the wood in the evening when he saw people stirring around the radio. He saw Amy picking up the speaker, responding. Amy shook her head as Dale said something.

“C'mon, son. You know the best how to work this thing.” Dale called for him and Shane quickly walked over and hit the ax to the stump, taking the speaker from Amy and knelt down.

“Hello, hello, is the person who called still in the air?” More people gathered around the radio. The line stayed dead.

“This is officer Shane Walsh, broadcasting for person unknown, please respond.” Still nothing.

“He's gone” Shane announced and put the speaker down. Lori took a step closer.

“There are others, it's not just us.”

“We knew there would be, that's why we left the radio on.”

“Lot of good it's been doing, and I've been saying for a week we ought to put signs on 85 to warn people from the city.” Lori remarked.

“Folks have no idea what they are getting into.” Amy silently commented as she stared at the radio. Shane sighed.

“Well, we haven't got the time.” Shane said softly and got up.

“I think we ought to make time.” Lori challenged.

“Yeah, uh, that's a luxury we can't afford.” Shane rubbed his stubble, wondering why Lori was getting so worked up about this. “We are surviving here, we are day to day.”

“And who the hell do you propose we send?” Dale pitched in.

“I'll go, give me a vehicle.” Lori hissed, her hands now on her hips. Shane glanced Carl who just stared at her mother.

“Nobody goes anywhere alone, you know it.” Shane snapped, rubbing his neck. They stared at each-other for a while, and then Lori lowered her eyes and started to walk away.

“Yes, sir.” She mocked under her breath, and Shane stopped Carl from following her.

“Hey, hey little buddy, go take a seat there, it's alright.” He said soothingly, going after Lori himself. _Like this day could get any worse_. Lori stomped towards the tents, ignoring Shane completely.

“You pissed at me?” Lori enters her tent and Shane follows decisively. “You can be pissed at me all you want, it ain't gonna change anything.” He's still talking to Lori's back, and he thinks this is the first time they have fought while they have been 'involved'.

“I ain't putting you to danger, okay, not doing it for anything.” He says softly, luring her to turn around. “If that makes you feel like you want to slap me beside the head, tell me what girl, you go right ahead. I'm right here. Go on.” He urged, half joking. Finally Lori turns toward him.

“You _cannot_ walk off like that, all half cocked. If you don't want to do it for my sake or your sake that's fine, do it for him.” He tries to have an eye contact, but Lori stubbornly stares slightly past him. “That boy has been through too much, and he's not going to lose his mother too. Okay?” Lori is nodding, still avoiding eye contact.

“I'm a good mom.” She silently tells him, convincing him or herself, Shane wasn't sure.

“You tell me okay.” Shane gives an encouraging smile, and Lori gives a small one too.

“It's not that hard, hm?” Shane steps a bit closer, touching her hair. “Hey.” Shane presses a gentle kiss to her lips, and she grabs his shoulders. Just as the kiss deepens they tear apart as they hear Carl calling to her. Clearing his throat Shane leaves the tent and pats Carl on the head on his way. He smiled fondly by himself, and got his ax to finish his job. _Just might be a good day._

_-_

 

Daryl woke up with a vicious kick on his side, and realized how foggy his mind was.

“Wakey, wakey Daryleen.” Merle squatted next to him and gave him a few not so gentle slaps to his face. Trying to draw away he noticed that his hands wouldn't move. Merle laughed at his confused face. “There there, work it out, take your time.” He tugged at his hands, realizing that they were bound around a tree. It was so difficult to think, his brain was too sluggish. He licked his lips slowly, concentrating on talking.

“Ya drug'd me.” He managed to slur, clamping his eyes shut as Merle laughed his hollow laugh.

“Ya leavin' t' the city? Why?” He succeeded to ask slowly, as Merle took a cigarette and lighted it up. He drew in a breath and blew it on his face.

“I told ya earlier. I'm gonna work some Dixon charm on them.” He smirked. Daryl frowned and shook his head.

“N-no. Le's just 'eave Mer.” Daryl begged, connecting their eyes, trying to appeal to Mer. _Please let's just leave. Leave Shane alone._ Merle stared at him for a minute, not moving at all. Then he threw the cig to ground and got up, walking out of Daryl's line of sight. He groaned in surprise and pain as the first kick hit to his side. “You-” another vicious kick hit his stomach, “-fuckin'-” Daryl cried in pain, “-trying-” there was an audible crack “-to protect-” Daryl coughed and tasted copper “-that guy?!” Merle panted in his rage. He knelt down and took a hold of Daryl's shirt lifting him close to his face. “Ya care 'bout ya precious friend that much, huh?!” Daryl gasped for air, the pain burning his stomach and ribs. “Ya would choose a guy ya've known for three weeks over me?!”

“I-I'm not-” Daryl rasped out trying to calm his brother down, but he just kept on yelling.

“I've been there for ya always, always! Practically raised your ass! Ya ungrateful little shit!” He let go of Daryl's shirt and got up again, pacing around. “I fucking protected ya all those years!” He yelled at the woods, raking his nails trough his short hair. Daryl couldn't help it, a weak laugh escaped him. Merle turned his attention fully back on him.

“Ya wer' always there? Raisin' me, _protectin_ me'?” He laughed again, a flash of pain shooting trough his ribs. Merle blinked stupidly, and Daryl felt rage flaring up inside, sobering him up.

“Are ya fucking kidding me?!” It was Daryl's time to yell, and it seemed to shock Merle a bit that he did. Daryl wasn't sure he had really yelled at him like this before. “Ya were never there! Protecting me?” Daryl laughed and coughed immediately. “Ya were just another thing I needed protecting fro-” Merle's hands were on his throat suddenly, cutting off his sentence. He tried to squirm, kick, anything, but Merle's hands pressed down, the air cut off from his lungs. Merle's face twitched on top of him, the pearls of sweat rolling down his brow. Panic grew inside Daryl, he didn't have the energy to move anymore, he couldn't get Mer off on top of him. His brother was going to kill him.

 

-

 

Shane glanced around the camp, not seeing Merle anywhere. He wasn't sure if he was reading into his absence too much or not, the guy could be just packing stuff for tomorrow. But then again he hadn't seen him after Daryl had gone hunting, and the sun had already settled. Huffing, Shane glanced the woods. It wouldn't be wise for him to go after Daryl, he didn't really know how to track too well and it was dark. It wouldn't be safe, and he had to think about Lori and Carl. They needed him. Giving a last glance at the woods, he walked towards his own tent.

 

-

 

Daryl sobbed, his face was striped with tears. He gasped for air, lungs burning with every gulp of air. He coughed violently, the pain before was nothing compared to this. His head pounded so badly that it blurred his vision, so Daryl was only faintly registering Merle moving beside him. He blinked rapidly and stared at the trees above him, concentrating on his breathing. His older brother straddled on top of his chest, making it hard to breath again. Merle forced his mouth open with two of his fingers. The younger brother made a noise of objection, but Merle paid no mind.

“No biting.” He warned, drew his fingers away and opened his own belt. Daryl bit his lower lip and concentrated on the trees above him. “Open it.” Merle grunted, waiting. Daryl ignored him. His brother snarled in irritation, grabbed his hair and twisted it until he finally looked at his face.

“Open ya mouth or I'll fuck ya in the ass.” Daryl stared at his brother in the eye, clenched his jaw and opened his mouth. Merle made a face that was between a smirk and baring his filthy teeth and shoved his cock inside Daryl's mouth. Daryl gagged, trying to breathe. Merle took a hold of his brothers hair and started to thrust in and out. Daryl's eyes blurred with tears, but he didn't move.

“That's the spirit” Merle laughed, grunted and moved away. Daryl tugged at his bound hands.

“Mer, ya said-” He almost begged as Merle opened Daryl's belt and pulled his pants down to his ankles. His brother's sick laugh felt like another punch to the face. Daryl turned his head under his arm, and shut his eyes close as Merle pushed his legs more open and gripped tightly to his hips. Merle spat at his hand, jerked his hand over his dick a few times and smirked. Daryl inhaled sharply as Merle forced inside him. He bit his lip and his nails dug into his palms as he tried to work around the pain. Merle pressed his hands more tightly around his hips, bruising, and Daryl couldn't help a small whimper. Merle laughed breathlessly, leaning in to grab Daryl's hair and turning him to face him again.

“Look at me.” He growled, and Daryl opened his eyes, facing Merle. Merle pushed inside him as he held Daryl's head on place. He made him watch his face, and Daryl felt his breath on his face.

“ _You are mine._ ” He growled, let go of his hair and replaced it on his hips again. He gave a few more quick thrusts, and came inside him.

 

-

 

Shane squinted at the morning light as he walked to Dale's trailer and saw the group ready to leave to the city. Only Merle seemed to be missing. Shane furrowed, his stomach feeling heavy.

“Any of you seen Merle yet?” He asked the group and they shook their heads.

“He might still be asleep.” Morales commented next to his wife.

“Maybe we should just leave him.” Jacqui commented, earning a laugh from Andrea.

“I think you should take all the firepower you can get.” Shane commented, looking at the mix of people in this group. “I'll go wake him up.” He just had to turn around to see Merle coming from his tent. He seemed way too happy with himself.

“Mornin'.” He dropped his bag to the ground and lit a cigarette.

“Everyone ready to go?” Glenn asked, glancing around the group. There was a agreeing murmur and everybody hugged their loved ones for the last time.

“Shame that Daryl didn't stay to say goodbye.” Merle muttered silently so only Shane could hear.

“Well, I did get to say my farewell to him.” Shane stepped closer and gripped his arm.

“The fuck did you do?” Shane demanded in a hushed growl. Merle glanced at the other people, and Shane realized what he was depending on. Shane couldn't demand any information in front of these people on a threat that they'd find out what Daryl had gone through. Shane clenched his jaw and let go of Merle's arm, but not backing down. Merle drew a breath from his cig and grinned.

“He's about three miles in that direction.” Merle pointed at the forest and picked up his bag. “Better walk fast. He was kinda tied up last time I saw him.” Merle went to follow the others but Shane stopped him.

“This isn't over.” Shane stepped back with difficulty. It was a strain not to beat Merle to a pulp. “Get the fuck out of my sight.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you hate it when life gets in the way of your fanfic writing? Now I know you poor bastards have been waiting on this for - oh shit like half an year ?? But here it is. I hope you like it :)

The sound of his own breathing was the only thing that Shane could hear. A branch scraped his arm, but he barely noticed. _He should be around here. If that fucker lied about this..._ Then he noticed something lying on the ground, Daryl's crossbow. He stopped to pick it up and scanned his surroundings more, trying to see Daryl somewhere. Shane drew his hand trough his hair, cursing under his breath. He continued ahead, whipping his head left and right trying to spot hi-

 

He could only see half of his legs but Shane could feel his heart shattering to tiny pieces. _That monster. That_ _ **fucking**_ _monster didn't even bother to pull his pants up._ This was the second time when he really wanted to shoot someone in the face. The man who shot Rick was his first. Shane needed to take a deep breath before he could even move. He stumbled towards Daryl, finally passing the bush that had covered the rest of his friend and his heart skipped a beat. _Oh God he can't be dead, he can't be._ Shane quickly knelt next to him.

”Daryl.” He shook the other man from his shoulder and winced as Daryl jumped.

”Hey, hey,” Shane started to talk soothingly as the other man started to breath heavily, eyes darting. ”It's okay. It's alright.” He kept his hand still on Daryl's shoulder as he waited for a while for him to calm down.

”I'm going to take this belt off your wrists now, okay?” Shane waited until he got a slight nod from the other man and moved slowly while he freed his hands. Both of the hunters wrists had violent bruises on them and Shane didn't want to even think of the pins and needles the other was going to have. However one glance at Daryl's face was enough to tell that that wasn't the biggest issue here.

“Do you, uh, do you think you can move?” Shane vaguely gestured at Daryl's half naked body that he very pointedly did not look at. Daryl blinked twice before trying to get up only to collapse back down with a pained hiss. Shane's impulse was to hold him but instead he balled his fists.

“I-” Daryl croaks and frowns “I think I broke a rib.” His voice was even more hoarse than normally and then Shane noticed the flaming red bruises on his neck. Shane silenced himself with pressing his palm over his mouth. _Oh I'm gonna make that bastard suffer._

“Okay then, um I need you to move as little as possible. I'm going to pull up your pants, alright?” Daryl shut his eyes but nodded. Shane tried to stare at the woods to give the other man some privacy. Slightly fumbling but finally getting the pants up Shane ran his hand trough his hair. _That just might be the awkwardest thing I've done so far._ _Or not._

“Daryl, I think we need to clean you up.” Daryl started to shake his head but winced and stopped. He still had his eyes closed.

“I don't wanna go to the lake.”

“Right. Right, of course.” The women would be doing some washing there probably. Shane rubbed his eyes and tried to think. “There's another lake, but it's not in the walking distance with your condition. But we- we could drive there if we get you in a car. I could help you to the side of the road and get the car there. Sound good?” Daryl finally opened his eyes and nodded.

“Alright. Let's get you up then.” He tried to give an encouraging smile but wasn't sure if he pulled it off.

 

-

 

Somehow, very slowly and carefully, they got beside the road. Shane had pretty much carried Daryl there, walking was painful and aggravated his wounds. Shane gently lowered Daryl to sit by a tree. He winced as he settled down but didn't say anything.

“Alright then,” Shane knelt next to him and took the hunter's bow from around his shoulder and gave it to it's owner. “You better shoot everything that comes at you that isn't me, OK?”

“You don't have to tell me that.” Daryl offered a tiny smile and took a better grip of his bow. Shane smiled back and nodded before he left for the camp. Daryl watched as Shane headed off and when he no longer heard his footsteps he took a count of his injuries. His ribs were throbbing like hell. At least one of them was broken, or maybe a few. His throat ached and his ass... he thinks he's bleeding. Daryl really didn't want to think about it. He just wanted to clean himself and get some sleep.

 

- 

 

Daryl snapped awake, realizing he'd fallen asleep. Slightly angry at himself, he groaned as he changed his position slightly. At least the small nap had cleared his brain from the drug Merle had injected him with. A flash of restlessness surges trough him as he thinks of his brother. He can still feel Merle's tight grip around his throat, and he has to touch it to make sure that his hands aren't still there. He felt restless, and decided to test his feet. Daryl scrambled up and images of what he went trough flash inside of his mind. His veins started to pump with bitterness that has been withheld for years. He thought of his scumbag father that never cared of him, he thought of Merle who made him feel like he was indebted to him, deserving his abuse for _all these years._ His anger grows with every thought he had, and he felt as he was about to burst.

Daryl started to pace without noticing. He thought of the sharp lashes of the belt, a stick or what ever was close hitting his back, leaving the scars there forever. He thought of the first time Merle crawled in to his bunk stinking of alcohol and the accusative “you own me this” and being confused and hurt and not knowing how to defend himself. Thick bitterness clouded his mind when he thinks _but I can't even defend myself from him now._

He felt such rage. Daryl felt like he's going to rip to pieces, and then he took the first swing at the tree next to him. He thinks he yelled in the midst of it all, his mind was clouded in deep red outrage. He didn't even stop when he felt a touch on his shoulder, he just turned quickly and attacked whomever was there, he got a punch in the gut, but the person didn't bulge, and he kept on going, and -

“-ryl! Stop, it's alright, stop it please!” He recognized Shane's voice, and when he froze for a second Shane took a hold of his wrists. He struggled the hold and beat his fists on Shane's chest.

“No, fuck that!” He distantly heard himself yelling. “I am _done._ I'm so fucking done, Shane.” Shane kept his grip, but didn't do anything else.

“I'm done with Merle. I'm-” he took short breaths and still fought Shane, “he has always gotten under my skin! I've never been able to defy him, ever since I was twelve he has-” his rant was cut off by a sob and he didn't even know what he was trying to say but he still continued.

“He said he's been there for me all these years, Shane.” He laughs hollowly. “He said he practically had raised my ass.” He took a deep shaky breath and had stopped resisting Shane's hold. He looked straight in his face.

“I'm done with him. I want to kill him, Shane. I want to shoot an arrow trough his brain. I want to gut that bastard.” Daryl spits the last words and Shane responded with a shaky smirk.

“Good that we agree on that. Now come here.” He pulled Daryl into a tight hug, and Daryl blinked uselessly a few times before he hugged him back just as tight. He closed his eyes and tried to level his breathing with Shane's.

They stood there for a while, until Daryl had calmed down. When Shane stepped away he offered him a smile.

 

-

 

Shane sat in the car as Daryl washed himself at the lake. They secured the area before he was comfortable to leave his friend there. He felt the bruise on his stomach where Daryl had punched him. _Damn he knows how to throw a punch._ He thought of the hunters words from before, and wondered what was going to happen when Merle came back. His inner cop frowned on the violent plans he has restored for the man. He decided to leave everything 'Merle' for later and concentrated on what was happening right now. Shane saw Daryl walking up to the car, so he got out to meet him. He had clean clothes and looked a bit better. Shane helped him batch up his bloody knuckles and put same bandages on his face. After that they ate in that comfortable silence they usually spent time in. When they got to the camp Shane shook Daryl awake and he sneaked to their tent.

It wasn't even afternoon yet but Shane felt beat. He needed to find Lori. He asked around and heard that she went to pick berries. He headed to the forest, knowing the spot where he's going to find her. They've met each other there before. He sees her, and for a second he just stared at Lori. She's humming quietly while she picks the berries and places them in the bucket. The light that gets trough the thick leaves dance on her hair. She looked absolutely stunning. Shane feels warmth in his chest as he looks at the sight in front of him. She sees him and startles, hand flying to her chest.

“Shane! You scared me.” She laughed lightly and something squeezed inside Shane as an image of Daryl getting ambushed in the woods flashed in his mind.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to.” He walked to her and Lori got up to meet him halfway. Shane wrapped his arms around her and held on tight.

“Hey, hey...” Lori rubbed circles on his shoulders. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah. I just need something real right now.” He murmured and kissed her hair. She pulled slightly away and smiled wickedly.

“Well I assure you I'm very real.” She pulled him down for a kiss and Shane melted down. He deepened the kiss and Lori's fingers tangled in his hair. Shane broke the kiss for air and just leaned his forehead against Lori's. She smiled warmly and hummed happily.

“I think I'm in love with you woman.” Shane smiled anxiously, not knowing how Lori would react. She drew her head away and her face got serious as she searched something in his eyes. Shane swallowed nervously. Whatever she was searching for she seemed to find it, because before Shane noticed it, he was getting pushed to the ground and Lori was tugging at his clothes. And for a few minutes the world doesn't seem so dark.

 

-

 

In the evening Shane brought Daryl food in the tent. The hunter was asleep on his sleeping bag.

“Daryl, hey man time to wake up.” He kicks the hunters feet slightly and Daryl snaps awake, blinking furiously.

“Brought you some food.” Shane offers the warm plate to Daryl and he takes it in his hands after sitting up slowly. Shane eyed the other man. The bruises on his neck were raging red colour and looked painful.

“How you feeling man?” Shane questioned and took a mouthful of food. Daryl shrugged but winced at the movement.

“'M okay.” His voice was hoarse and he tried to clear it. “Have ya heard anythin' from the other group?” The scavenger group had taken a few walkie-talkies with them that should be able to broadcast to the base camp’s radio.

“Nah, and that can mean either two things.” They fell in silence, both wondering if Merle was breaking havoc in the city. Just then there was lively chatter coming outside and Lori's head popped inside the tent. She froze for a sec when she saw Daryl there, but turned to Shane.

“You better come and listen to this.” He glanced at Daryl who nodded for him to leave. Together with Lori they walked to Dale's RV. Other people from the camp had gathered around to listen what T-Dog was saying.

“We're trapped in the department store.” A faint voice came from the radio before a beep. People gathered closer and Shane stopped next to Amy.

“Did he say they were trapped?” Shane asked Dale but T-Dog spoke again.

“The geeks are all over the place, hundreds of them. We're surrounded by them.” The speech was almost covered by the static. Dale tried to find a better line and asked for T to repeat. After that there was no more noise from the other line. Shane drew his hand trough his hair and tried to think.

“He said the department store.” Lori said next to him.

“I heard it too.” Dale confirmed. She turned to him.

“Shane?” She asked quietly. Shane shook his head.

“No way. We do not go after them. We do not risk the rest of the group, you all know that.” He needs to prioritize, he can't protect the people out of his reach, but he can help these people. Amy however had her sister in there.

“So are we going to just leave her there?” She sounded so shocked.

“Okay Amy, I know this is not easy...” Shane started softly, trying to calm her down.

“She volunteered to go.” She interrupted. “To help the rest of us.” Shane steps closer and nods.

“I know. I know. She knew the risks, right?” In moments like these he thinks of Rick. He always had away to handle these kinds of situations.“See, if she's trapped, she's gone. We just have to deal with that. There's nothing we can do.” Speaking the last words, he's not sure if he's talking of Andrea or Rick and his voice breaks down sightly. Amy stares at his face with disgust.

“She's my sister you son of bitch!” Amy stalks off and Shane huffs. He looks at Lori, wordlessly looking for approval of his actions. Lori nods her head and Shane let's out the breath he's been holding. The crowd dismantles and Lori goes after Amy. Carl is left standing there, looking confused. Shane takes in a deep breath and goes to him. He ruffled his hair and smiled at him.

“It's okay buddy. You got any chores?” Carl nodded at him and he tapped his shoulder. “Off you go little buddy.” Shane watched him go before he went back to his tent.

“What's going on?” Daryl asked him even before he got in. He settled in before answering.

“It's the group. They're stuck in Atlanta.” Daryl's eyebrows shot up.

“Do ya- do ya think it's Merle?” Shane shook his head and took his plate.

“No, I think they said geeks surrounded them. Don't know which option is worse though.” Daryl gave a low hum and wiped his face with his red rag.

“Should I say something about the bruises to Lori?” He asked after a while with his soft voice. Shane frowned but shook his head again.

“Nah, she won't ask.” It was a lie, but thought Daryl didn't have to deal with that.

“So what are you gonna do about the group? You think they can make it?” Shane didn't answer for a while. It was a though decision, but hey had spoken of this before the group had left to Atlanta. And it was the reason so few people had volunteered to go with Glenn.

“There's nothing we can do. It's not nice, but they've got to make it on their own.” He sighed deeply. “There's nothing we can do.” He said again and he could feel Daryl staring at him. Maybe he could sense a deeper story to his words but he didn't offer any explanation.

 

-

 

It was the next morning, he was sitting with Lori and Carl while cleaning his rifle. They were having one of those moments where Shane could maybe see them as a family in the future. The wailing noise was distant at first but it came closer and closer. Dale was on top of his RV, goggles in his hands.

“Talk to me Dale!” Shane yelled and rose up.

“Can't tell yet.” Dale confessed, but he continued searching. Shane loaded the gun and walked up to the road. Amy walked beside him.

“Is it them?” She asked hopefully. “Are they back?” Dale was muttering something, informing that it was a stolen car making all that noise. The red Chevrolet took the last turn and for everybody's surprise Glenn emerged from inside, with a big ass grin on his face.

It was very chaotic after that, Amy demanding to know about her sister, Dale yelling Glenn to turn the car off and Shane trying to get Glenn to pop the hood. Glenn tried to answer to everybody while getting back in the car to open the hood. Shane did his magic and at least now the car wasn't screaming.

“-y didn't she come? Where is she? She's okay?” Amy asked a question after question.

“Yes!” Glenn interrupted her and glanced the gathered crowd. “Yeah, fine. Everybody is.” He reassured. There was a relieved murmur around.

“Well...” Glen continued, “Merle not so much.” Shane's face twitched at the mention of Merle but there were other things to speak of.

“Are you crazy driving this thing over here, you trying to draw every walker from miles?” He asked sternly, leaning on the car.

Dale shook his head.“I think we're okay.”

“You call being stupid okay?” Shane retorted.

“Well the alarm was going off all over these hills, hard to pinpoint the source.” Dale calmly explained. Shane rose up and put hands on his hips, and Dale rose his arms.

“I'm not arguing, just saying. Wouldn't hurt you to think things trough more carefully the next time, would it?” Dale referred the last words to Glenn who apologized. A large moving van came around the corner and got everybody's attention.

“Amy!” Andrea emerged from the back and Amy ran to hug her. Morales family also ran to meet him and people who wasn't friends or relatives with the people coming from the car went back to their chores. Shane watched as Lori bent on her knee to tell something to Carl. Shane smiled as he looked at them. They were his family now.

His interest peaked at a mention of some new guy helping them out.

“Yeah, just some crazy guy who just got in the town.” Morales answered his question about this mystery man. “Hey helicopter boy! Come say hello!” Morales yelled at the last emerging figure from the van. “The guy's a cop, like you.” Shane raised his eyebrows and with real interest and tried to see this new guy.

His heart stopped. He had to take a step back, it felt like somebody had just kicked all the air from his lungs. Shane couldn't believe his eyes. It was Rick. Rick Grimes was alive. His best friend was alive.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaa ya'll knew this was coming. I want to thank for all the comments and kudos you guys have left me. And to be honest the latest comments are the reason I continued to write this fic. So please keep them coming! :p


End file.
